1 %{
2 /*
3 * Lex filter to transform plain English into Cockney English.
4 * No racial or societal slurs are intended. For amusement only.
5 *
6 * Copyright 1986 by Daniel Klein.
7 *
8 * Reproduction permitted so long as this notice is retained.
9 */
10 %}
11
12 BW [ \t\n]
13 SP [ \t]+
14 EW [ \t.,;!\?$]
15
16 %Start junk
17
18 %option noyywrap
19
20 %{
21 #include<time.h>
22 void eos(void);
23 void plastc(void);
24 char caseify(char);
25 void I(void);
26 void bloody(void);
27 void set_did(short);
28 void clear_did(void);
29 void dintI(void);
30 void pooped(void);
31 void expletive(void);
32 %}
33
34 %%
35
36 <junk>. { srandom(time(0L)); unput(yytext[0]); BEGIN 0; }
37 {BW}[Tt]he{EW} { ECHO; bloody(); }
38 {BW}[Ss]teal{EW} { printf("%c%cick",yytext[0],yytext[1]-5);
39 eos();
40 }
41 {BW}[Ss]tole{EW} { printf("%c%cicked",yytext[0],yytext[1]-5);
42 eos();
43 }
44 {BW}tired pooped();
45 {BW}were{EW} |
46 {BW}was{EW} { printf("%cwuz",yytext[0]); eos(); }
47 [Hh]ello printf("'%cllo", caseify('u'));
48 {BW}[Hh] printf("%c'",yytext[0]);
49 {BW}[Yy]our{EW} { printf("%.2ser",yytext); eos(); }
50 {BW}it{EW} { printf("%.2s'",yytext); eos(); }
51 {BW}go{EW} { printf("%.2sow",yytext); eos(); }
52 {BW}and{EW} { printf("%c'n'",yytext[0]); eos(); }
53 {BW}my{EW} { printf("%.2se",yytext); eos(); }
54 {BW}th(is|at){EW} { printf("%.5s", yytext); eos(); }
55 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}went{EW} |
56 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}had{EW} |
57 {BW}[Ww]e{SP}did{EW} { printf("%.*s",yyleng-1,yytext);
58 set_did(2);
59 eos();
60 }
61 {BW}I{SP}went{EW} |
62 {BW}I{SP}had{EW} |
63 {BW}I{SP}did{EW} { I();
64 printf(" did");
65 set_did(1);
66 eos();
67 }
68 {BW}I{EW} { I(); eos(); }
69
70 [Yy]ou{SP}[^aeiouy] { printf("%c'", yytext[0]); plastc(); }
71 [Ww]hat{SP}are{EW} { printf("%cotta", yytext[0]); eos(); }
72
73 {BW}other |
74 [MmNnRr]other printf("%cuvver",yytext[0]);
75 [MmSs]outh printf("%cowf", yytext[0]);
76 [cYy]outh printf("%coof", yytext[0]);
77 [^o]uth printf("%.2sf",yytext);
78 {BW}th[^e] |
79 [AaEeIiOo]th[^em] { printf("%cf",yytext[0]); plastc(); }
80 oothe |
81 e[ei]the { printf("%c%cve", yytext[0], yytext[0]); }
82 ooth |
83 eeth { printf("%c%cf", yytext[0], yytext[0]); }
84 [aei]the { printf("%cvv",yytext[0]); plastc(); }
85 th putchar('v');
86 a[km]e{EW} { printf("i%ce",yytext[1]); eos(); }
87 [^r][Oo]ld printf("%.2swld",yytext);
88 [^AaEeIiOoUu][uo]nd[a-z] printf("%cunn%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
89 ing{EW} { printf("in'"); eos(); }
90 [^dg]get+[^h] printf("%cge'%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
91 ail printf("aiw");
92 any printf("enny");
93 [rSs]ay{EW} { printf("%cigh",yytext[0]); eos(); }
94 way printf("why");
95 [BbHh]it{EW} { printf("%ci'",yytext[0]); eos(); }
96 ait{EW} { printf("ite"); eos(); }
97 ime{EW} { printf("oime"); eos(); }
98 [^e]ize[^n] printf("%coize%c",yytext[0],yytext[yyleng-1]);
99 [^e]ight printf("%coit",*yytext);
100 [a-z]"?" { *(yytext+1) = ',';
101 printf("%s roit?",yytext);
102 clear_did();
103 }
104 [a-z]"." { printf("%c", yytext[0]); dintI(); }
105 \n printf("\n");
106
107 %%
108
109 void eos()
110 {
111 if (yytext[yyleng-1] == '.')
112 dintI();
113 else
114 unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
115 }
116
plastc()117 void plastc()
118 {
119 unput(yytext[yyleng-1]);
120 }
121
caseify(c)122 char caseify(c)
123 char c;
124 {
125 if (yytext[0] <= 'Z')
126 return (c - ' ');
127 else
128 return (c);
129 }
130
131
I()132 void I()
133 {
134 /* extern long random(); */
135
136 if (random() % 100 < 20)
137 printf("%cOy",yytext[0]);
138 else
139 printf("%cI",yytext[0]);
140 }
141
142 static short b_count = 0;
143 static short b_which = 0;
144
bloody()145 void bloody()
146 {
147 if (b_count++ % 2 == 0) {
148 switch (b_which++ % 4) {
149 case 0: printf("bloody "); break;
150 case 1: printf("flinkin' "); break;
151 case 2: printf("bleedin' "); break;
152 case 3: printf("soddin' "); break;
153 }
154 }
155 }
156
157 static short did = 0;
158
set_did(val)159 void set_did(val)
160 short val;
161 {
162 did = val;
163 }
164
clear_did()165 void clear_did()
166 {
167 did = 0;
168 }
169
dintI()170 void dintI()
171 {
172 /* extern long random(); */
173
174 if ((did == 1) && (random() % 100 < 50))
175 printf(", didn'I?");
176 else if ((did == 2) && (random() % 100 < 50))
177 printf(", din't we?");
178 else
179 printf(".");
180 clear_did();
181 }
182
pooped()183 void pooped()
184 {
185 /* extern long random(); */
186
187 switch (random() % 3) {
188 case 0:
189 printf("%cknackered", yytext[0]);
190 break;
191 case 1:
192 printf("%cshagged out", yytext[0]);
193 break;
194 case 2:
195 printf("%cdone in", yytext[0]);
196 break;
197 }
198 }
199
expletive()200 void expletive()
201 {
202 /*
203 Blimey
204 Stright a light
205 'Strewth
206 Cor blimey
207 */
208 }
209