1A UNIX saleslady, Lenore, 2Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more. 3 She found a good way 4 To combine work and play: 5She sells C shells by the seashore. 6% 7A computer, to print out a fact, 8Will divide, multiply, and subtract. 9 But this output can be 10 No more than debris, 11If the input was short of exact. 12 -- Gigo 13% 14A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison 15And had an affair with a Saracen. 16 She was not oversexed, 17 Or jealous or vexed, 18She just wanted to make a comparison. 19% 20A dozen, a gross, and a score, 21Plus three times the square root of four, 22 Divided by seven, 23 Plus five times eleven, 24Equals nine squared plus zero, no more. 25% 26A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis 27Wished to foster an aura of menace; 28 To make people afraid 29 He wore gloves of grey suede 30And white footgear intended for tennis. 31 -- Edward Gorey 32% 33A hacker who screwed a mag tape 34Was caught and convicted of rape. 35 To jail he did go, 36 From which, to his woe 37He couldn't get out with ESC. 38% 39A limerick packs laughs anatomical 40Into space that is quite economical. 41 But the good ones I've seen 42 So seldom are clean, 43And the clean ones so seldom are comical. 44% 45A linguist thought it a farce 46That memory space was so sparse. 47 One day they increased it. 48 Said he as he seized it: 49"At last! Enough core for the parse". 50% 51A new dramatist of the absurd 52Has a voice that will shortly be heard. 53 I learn from my spies 54 He's about to devise 55An unprintable three-letter word. 56% 57A progressive professor named Winners 58Held classes each evening for sinners. 59 They were graded and spaced 60 So the vile and debased 61Would not be held back by beginners. 62% 63A very intelligent turtle 64Found programming UNIX a hurdle 65 The system, you see, 66 Ran as slow as did he, 67And that's not saying much for the turtle. 68% 69A wonderful bird is the pelican. 70His mouth can hold more than his belican. 71 He can take in his beak 72 Enough food for a week. 73And I'm darned if I know how the helican. 74% 75Despising machines to a man, 76The Luddites joined up with the Klan, 77 And ride out by night 78 In a sheeting of white 79To lynch all the robots they can. 80 -- C. M. and G. A. Maxson 81% 82Flappity, floppity, flip 83The mouse on the m"obius strip; 84 The strip revolved, 85 The mouse dissolved 86In a chronodimensional skip. 87% 88If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker, 89It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. 90 Or some joker who is slicker, 91 Will trick you of your liquor, 92If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock. 93% 94Limericks are art forms complex, 95Their topics run chiefly to sex. 96 They usually have virgins, 97 And masculine urgin's, 98And other erotic effects. 99% 100System/3! System/3! 101See how it runs! See how it runs! 102 Its monitor loses so totally! 103 It runs all its programs in RPG! 104 It's made by our favorite monopoly! 105System/3! 106% 107There once was a girl named Irene 108Who lived on distilled kerosene 109 But she started absorbin' 110 A new hydrocarbon 111And since then has never benzene. 112% 113There once was a member of Mensa 114Who was a most excellent fencer. 115 The sword that he used 116 Was his -- (line is refused, 117And has now been removed by the censor). 118% 119There once was an old man from Esser, 120Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. 121 It at last grew so small, 122 He knew nothing at all, 123And now he's a College Professor. 124% 125There was a young lady from Hyde 126Who ate a green apple and died. 127 While her lover lamented 128 The apple fermented 129And made cider inside her inside. 130% 131There was a young lady from Niger 132Who smiled as she rode on a tiger; 133 They returned from the ride 134 With the lady inside, 135And the smile on the face of the tiger. 136% 137There was a young man who said "God, 138I find it exceedingly odd, 139 That the willow oak tree 140 Continues to be, 141When there's no one about in the Quad." 142 143"Dear Sir, your astonishment's odd, 144For I'm always about in the Quad; 145 And that's why the tree, 146 Continues to be," 147Signed "Yours faithfully, God." 148% 149There was a young poet named Dan, 150Whose poetry never would scan. 151 When told this was so, 152 He said, "Yes, I know. 153It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can." 154% 155A computer called Illiac4 156Had a rather tough bug in its core. 157 It chewed up its cards 158 And spewed yards and yards 159Of illegible tape on the floor. 160% 161