1CONDOM(1) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual CONDOM(1) 2 3 4 5NAME 6 condom - Protection against viruses and prevention of child 7 processes 8 9SYNOPSIS 10 condom [options] [processid] 11 12DESCRIPTION 13 _condom_ provides protection against System Transmitted 14Viruses (STVs) that may invade your system. Although the spread of 15such viruses across a network can only be abated by aware and cautious 16users, _condom_ is the only highly-effective means of preventing 17viruses from entering your system (see celibacy(1)). Any data passed 18to _condom_ by the protected process will be blocked, as specified by 19the value of the -s option (see OPTIONS below). _condom_ is known to 20defend against the following viruses and other malicious 21afflictions... 22 23 o AIDS 24 o Herpes Simplex (genital varieties) 25 o Syphilis 26 o Crabs 27 o Genital warts 28 o Gonorrhea 29 o Chlamydia 30 o Michelangelo 31 o Jerusalem 32 33 When used alone or in conjunction with pill(1), sponge(1), 34foam(1), and/or setiud(3), _condom_ also prevents the conception of a 35child process. If invoked from within a synchronous process, _condom_ 36has, by default, an 80% chance of preventing the external processes 37from becoming parent processes (see the -s option below). When other 38process contraceptives are used, the chance of preventing a child 39process from being forked becomes much greater. See pill(1), 40sponge(1), foam(1), and setiud(3) for more information. 41 If no options are given, the current user's login process (as 42determined by the environment variable USER) is protected with a 43Trojan rough-cut latex condom without a reservoir tip. The optional 44'processid' argument is an integer specifying the process to protect. 45 NOTE: _condom_ may only be used with a hard disk. _condom_ 46will terminate abnormally with exit code -1 if used with a floppy 47disk (see DIAGNOSTICS below). 48 49OPTIONS 50 The following options may be given to _condom_... 51 52 -b BRAND BRANDs are as follows... 53 54 trojan (default) 55 ramses 56 sheik 57 goldcoin 58 fourex 59 60 -m MATERIAL The valid MATERIALs are... 61 62 latex (default) 63 saranwrap 64 membrane -- WARNING! The membrane option is _not_ 65 endorsed by the System Administrator General as an 66 effective barrier against certain viruses. It is 67 supported only for the sake of tradition. 68 69 -f FLAVOR The following FLAVORs are currently supported... 70 71 plain (default) 72 apple 73 banana 74 cherry 75 cinnamon 76 licorice 77 orange 78 peppermint 79 raspberry 80 spearmint 81 strawberry 82 83 -r Toggle reservoir tip (default is no reservoir tip) 84 85 -s STRENGTH STRENGTH is an integer between 20 and 100 specifying 86 the resilience of _condom_ against data passed to 87 _condom_ by the protected process. Using a larger 88 value of STRENGTH increases _condom_'s protective 89 abilities, but also reduces interprocess communication. 90 A smaller value of STRENGTH increases interprocess 91 communication, but also increases the likelihood of a 92 security breach. An extremely vigorous process or 93 one passing an enormous amount of data to _condom_ 94 will increase the chance of _condom_'s failure. The 95 default STRENGTH is 80%. 96 97 -t TEXTURE Valid TEXTUREs are... 98 99 rough (default) 100 ribbed 101 bumps 102 lubricated (provides smoother interaction between 103 processes) 104 105 WARNING: The use of an external application to _condom_ in 106order to reduce friction between processes has been proven in 107benchmark tests to decrease _condom_'s strength factor! If execution 108speed is important to your process, use the '-t lubricated' option. 109 110DIAGNOSTICS 111 _condom_ terminates with one of the following exit codes... 112 113 -1 An attempt was made to use _condom_ on a floppy disk. 114 115 0 _condom_ exited successfully (no data was passed to 116 the synchronous process). 117 118 1 _condom_ failed and data was allowed through. The 119 danger of transmission of an STV or the forking of a child 120 process is inversely proportional to the number of other 121 protections employed and is directly proportional to 122 the ages of the processes involved. 123 124BUGS 125 _condom_ is NOT 100% effective at preventing a child process 126from being forked or at deterring the invasion of a virus (although 127the System Administrator General has deemed that _condom_ is the most 128effective means of preventing the spread of system transmitted 129viruses). See celibacy(1) for information on a 100% effective program 130for preventing these problems. 131 Remember... the use of sex(1) and other related routines 132should only occur between mature, consenting processes. If you must 133use sex(1), please employ _condom_ to protect your process and your 134synchronous process. If we are all responsible, we can stop the 135spread of STVs. 136 137AUTHORS and HISTORY 138 The original version of _condom_ was released in Roman times 139and was only marginally effective. With the advent of modern 140technology, _condom_ now supports many more options and is much more 141effective. 142 The current release of _condom_ was written by Ken Maupin at 143the University of Washington (maupin@cs.washington.edu) and was last 144updated on 10/7/92. 145 146SEE ALSO 147 celibacy(1), sex(1), pill(1), sponge(1), foam(1), and 148setiud(3) 149