1DEFAULT 2{FortuneCookie} 3 4FORTUNECOOKIE 5{CookiePrediction}. 6 7COOKIEPREDICTION 8You will buy a new set of clothes 9You will be hit over the head with piano falling from a {ordinal}-floor window 10You will be audited by the IRS 11You will be audited by the IRS because of your activity in the {OrgPolitical} 12You will be held hostage by the radical {OrgPolitical} 13You will be run over by a {[cross-town bus|beer truck|police car} 14You will find yourself as the victim of a bizarre practical joke 15You will contract a rare form of {LastName}'s Disease 16You will grow fat and bald 17You will lose your present job and have to become a {[telemarketer|Pointy Haired Boss|door-to-door vacuum salesman|used car dealer} 18You will run for public office and only receive {#1-5}% of the vote 19Your spouse will eventually find out about you-know-what 20You will accidentally run over your neighbor's pet {animal} and be sued for ${#1-5} million 21You will arrive late at work only to realize that it's a Federal holiday 22You will write a Perl script to spit out random text 23Your family will grow suspicious of your newly acquired tattoo 24You will receive a promotion, only to be terminated a month later by failing a random drug test 25You will spend the next {#2-7} days fighting a flaw in a Microsoft product 26You will become the leader of the {OrgPolitical} 27You will lose your job because of your involvement in the {OrgPolitical} 28You will find the perfect joke to play on your {relative} on April Fool's Day, only to discover that it's actually April 2nd 29Your television will explode while the {[Super Bowl|World Series|big game} is on 30You will receive a ${#1-9}{digit}{digit},{digit}{digit}{digit} {[hospital|car repair|credit card} bill by mistake 31You will find a counterfeit ${[3|5|10|13|20|50|100} bill on the ground 32You will discover that everybody really is out to get you 33You will become successful in business -- unfortunately, that business will violate the laws of {#30-49} states 34You will inherit {#40-80} acres of worthless swampland from your {relative} 35Along with {#5-9} billion cockroaches, you will be the only survivor of World War III 36You will save the world -- Bob's Auto World, that is 37You will move into a mobile home park and then a tornado will strike the very next day 38You will set a record high golf score 39A black cat will run across your path today, but thankfully you aren't superstitious (at least not until you get run over by a bus this evening) 40The engine in your {[car|truck|SUV|minivan} will explode precisely {digit}.{digit} seconds after your warranty expires 41While on a business trip to {RealCity} you will get lost and wind up in {RealCity} 42You will shoot your eye out with a BB gun, just as your mother said you would 43You will run out of gas on Interstate {#4-99} in the vicinity of Nowhere, {USState}, population {#1-25} 44You will discover that this "Nonsense" program is a complete waste of time and electrons 45Your website will be hit with the dreaded Slashdot Effect, causing your webserver to die a painful death 46You will be abducted by aliens and taken to the secret planet {RandomName} {[I|II|III|IV} for extensive probing 47You will become the editor for a tabloid newspaper 48You will soon realize that your life is completely indistinguishable from "Dilbert" cartoons 49You will hurt your hand while thumping a Bible 50You will discover the meaning of life at the bottom of a beer bottle, but you won't remember what it is after you sober up in the morning 51You will receive a blank fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant, an event regarded by most superstition experts as a "bad omen" 52You will be falsely accused of jaywalking 53You will suffer a nosebleed during a speech in front of {#5-10},{digit}{digit}{digit} people 54You will receive {#50-100} credit card offers in the mail during the next week 55You will receive {#5-10},{digit}{digit}{digit} pieces of spam email during the next year 56Your favorite TV show will be cancelled and replaced with an infomercial 57You will lose your life savings in Las Vegas 58You will sign a contract requiring you to hand over your first born son to a large multinatonal corporation 59Your {[son|daughter} will lose a spelling bee after misspelling "{randomname}" 60You will be declared a "Town Drunk" by your local city council 61You will be responsible for an international incident 62Medical studies will reveal that your favorite {[food|beverage|snack} causes {[cancer|heart attacks|insanity} 63You will be deported to {Nation} 64You will realize that your life really is completely meaningless 65You will appear on "Who Want's To Be A Millionaire?" and fail to answer the first $100 question 66You will be sued by Major League Baseball for taping the World Series on your VCR without prior written consent 67You will be at the losing end of a ${#30-500} million lawsuit 68You will receive a ${#100-500} parking ticket from {RealCity} even though you have never been there 69Every single time you visit the doctor's office, the doctor will be out playing golf 70Until the day you die, you will never understand what the saying "Life is like a bowl of cherries" actually means 71Your hometown baseball team will never win the World Series 72Your brand new ${#2-4},{digit}{digit}{digit} computer will be struck by lightning {#3-6} hours after you first plug it in 73You will send the author of this fortune ${#1-9}00 in plain, unmarked bills within the next week 74You will be excommunicated from your church after you accidentally fall asleep and start snoring during services 75Your personal information will be in the hands of {#100-500} large, evil multinational corporations by the time you finish reading this fortune 76