nonsense/nonsense-0.6/stupidlaws.data

DEFAULT
{StupidLaw}

STUPIDLAW
{^StupidLawWhere}, {StupidLawIllegal} {StupidLawWhat}.
{^StupidLawWhere}, {StupidLawIllegal} {StupidLawWhat}.
{^StupidLawIllegal} {StupidLawWhat} {StupidLawWhere}.
{^StupidLawIllegal} in {City}, {USState} {StupidLawWhat}.

STUPIDLAWWHERE
in {City}, {USState}
in {City} County, {USState}
in {USState}
under the {USState} State Constitution
according to {USState} law

STUPIDLAWILLEGAL
it's illegal
it's a violation of the law
it's a crime
it's against the law
it's a misdemeanor
it's a felony
it's a Class {[A|B|C} {[misdemeanor|felony}
it's unlawful
it's forbidden
it's prohibited
it's punishable by a ${#1-9},000 fine

STUPIDLAWWHAT
to {StupidLawCommonVerb} and {StupidLawCommonVerb} at the same time {StupidLawSuffix}
to kill a {StupidLawLivingThing} {StupidLawPlace} {StupidLawException}
to {[insult|make fun of|humiliate|embarrass} an elected official on July 4th
for a women weighing more than {#200-300} pounds to {StupidLawCommonVerb} {StupidLawSuffix}
to serve uncooked roadkill to a neighbor {StupidLawTime}
to discriminate against a {StupidLawPerson} who is unable to {StupidLawCommonVerb}
for a married man to {StupidLawCommonVerb} {StupidLawPlace} unless his wife is present
for a man to give his {[girlfriend|sweetheart|prom date|wife|significant other} a box of candy costing less than ${#20-60} or weighing less than {#20-60} pounds
to wear {StupidLawUglyColor} {StupidLawGarmentPlural} {StupidLawTime}
to wear a white {StupidLawGarment} after Labor Day
to laugh at a lawyer joke
to {[sneeze|belch|cough|burp} {StupidLawSuffix}
to use the word "{randomname}" in a perjorative way
for a thunderstorm to hit during a parade
to use a clothes dryer on a sunny day
for a teacher or professor to give a failing grade to the son or daughter of a {StupidLawPerson}
to hitch a horse {StupidLawPlace}
to exceed the speed of {#2-4}-1/2 miles per hour while riding a bicycle in a city park
to sit on a toilet for more than {#60-360} minutes
for a man to flirt with a restaurant waitress unless he is a {StupidLawPerson}
to {StupidLawCommonVerb} while in a burning building
to attempt to bribe an elected official with less than ${#2-20},000
to compile and distribute a list of "stupid laws"
to use a seat cushion as a floatation device
to give alcohol to any {animal} {StupidLawSuffix}
to scare a sleeping {animal} except {StupidLawTime}
for a {StupidLawPerson} to {StupidLawCommonVerb} while on duty
to speak English in the presense of a {StupidLawPerson}
to enter the city limits in an automobile without first contacting a {StupidLawPerson}
to spit on a sidewalk within {#100-500} feet of a posted "NO SPITTING ON SIDEWALK" sign
to protest naked {StupidLawPlace} {StupidLawException}
to hold a yard sale without first obtaining a business license
to sell fleas at a flea market
to urinate within plain view of a {StupidLawPerson}
to {StupidLawVice} {StupidLawSuffix}
for a {StupidLawPerson} to {StupidLawVice} with their friends
for a teenager to {StupidLawVice} {StupidLawException}
to {StupidLawCommonVerb} and {StupidLawVice} simultaneously {StupidLawSuffix}
to hit a {StupidLawPerson} over the head with a {StupidLawWeapon}
to hit a {StupidLawLivingThing} with a {StupidLawWeapon}
for a minor to use a {StupidLawWeapon} as a weapon {StupidLawException}
to mispronounce the name of the state {[flower|animal|tree|song}
for a rooster or hen to make a loud noise within {#100-500} feet of a private residence {StupidLawException}
to ice skate on an outdoor pond during the summer
for a lawmaker to compose a law that a typical {ordinal}-grader would be unable to comprehend
to carry a concealed toy gun {StupidLawException}
to make faces at a {animal}
to paint a house {StupidLawUglyColor} {StupidLawException}
for a domesticated animal to mate {StupidLawPlace}
to detonate a nuclear device {StupidLawException}
to allow a pet to bite a {StupidLawPerson}
to curse {StupidLawPlace}
to install more than two {StupidLawItem}s in one house
to allow a minor to operate a {StupidLawItem} unsupervised
to purchase a {StupidLawItem} made in {Nation}
to keep Christmas decorations on a house past February {#1-28}
for a person declared as a "Town Drunk" to drink more than {#3-10} beers within an hour
for a woman declared as "ugly" to be seen in public without wearing makeup
to steal a road sign unless you have a good reason
to {StupidLawCommonVerb} while undressed
to use a {StupidLawItem} without first reading the manual
to {StupidLawVice} while riding in an elevator
to post election signs for a {[Republican|Democratic} candidate {StupidLawException}
to {StupidLawCommonVerb} while drinking alcohol
to operate a microbrewery {StupidLawPlace}
to sell a {StupidLawItem} to a {StupidLawPerson}
to serve gasoline as a beverage
to name a child "{RandomName}"
to read a newspaper upside-down
to allow a dog to eat a child's homework
to loiter in front of a {StupidLawPerson}'s house
to use a {animal} as a mascot
to skip church to go to a {StupidLawEvent} on a Sunday
to catch a fly ball at a baseball game without offering to give it back to the team
for a farmer to plant corn in {Month}
to attend a {StupidLawEvent} while wearing {StupidLawUglyColor} {StupidLawGarmentPlural}
for a woman to ask a man out on a date except on {DayOfWeek}
to keep more than {#4-20} inoperable vehicles in front of a house
for birds to sing after {#9-12}:00 o'clock in the evening
to sell your soul to Satan {StupidLawException}
for a person to wear a cowboy hat unless they own more than {[two|three|four} cows
to attend church without bringing a loaded gun to ward off Indian attacks
to cook a chicken {StupidLawTime}
to panhandle without a ${digit},000 permit
to {StupidLawCommonVerb} while at a {StupidLawEvent}
to yell out "This movie sucks!" in a crowded theater
to bring a crying baby to a {StupidLawEvent}
to hold a {StupidLawWeapon} within your mouth
to annoy any {animal} {StupidLawPlace}
to show a frown in public
to carry a concealed {StupidLawWeapon} {StupidLawException}
to use any {animal} as part of a religious ceremony
to operate a {StupidLawItem} while blindfolded
to fall asleep while wearing a {StupidLawGarment}
to view a {animal} from an airplane
to {StupidLawCommonVerb} while in a swimming pool
to hitch a horse to a parking meter {StupidLawSuffix}
to refer to a New York Times columnist as a "major league asshole" {StupidLawException}
to discharge a cannon at a wedding while drunk
to set a mousetrap without a hunting permit
to share {StupidLawFood} with a {StupidLawPerson} at a restaurant
to eat {StupidLawFood} with your mouth open {StupidLawPlace}
to awaken a sleeping {StupidLawPerson}
to flip a coin in order to determine who will pay the bill at a restaurant
to put live squirrels in your pants for the purposes of {[gambling|fortunetelling}
to engage in a public display of affection for more than {#5-20} minutes
for the host at a dinner party to serve {StupidLawFood} on {StupidLawUglyColor} plates
to breastfeed someone else's baby {StupidLawException}
to create a website that contains {[frames|JavaScript|Java|ActiveX|a dancing baby animation|more than five "Under Construction" icons}
to tell someone "{[Have a nice day|Merry Christmas|Good luck}!" unless you really mean it
to refer to an elderly person as a "geezer" {StupidLawException}
to switch your long distance carrier more than {#3-7} times in a month
to build a time machine {StupidLawException}
to violate {[the laws of Thermodynamics|Newton's Laws Of Motion} {StupidLawSuffix}
to use "dihydrogen monoxide" as a dangerous weapon
to attempt to fight City Hall
to write {[a research paper|an editorial|a book} about "stupid laws"
to write a letter to the editor of a newspaper unless you are registered to vote
to use the saying "Life is like a {[box of chocolates|bowl of cherries}" unless you know what it really means
to build a snowman taller than {#80-140} inches

STUPIDLAWCOMMONVERB
walk backwards
chew gum
drive a car
carry an ice cream cone
whistle
sing
eat peanuts
open a soda can
operate a fax machine
ride a bicycle

STUPIDLAWVICE
dance
go bowling
play poker
have fun
tell jokes
drink non-alcoholic beer
swat a fly

STUPIDLAWSUFFIX
{StupidLawTime}
{StupidLawPlace}
{StupidLawPlace} {StupidLawTime}
{StupidLawException}

STUPIDLAWEXCEPTION
with no exceptions
except during an emergency
except during a fire
without a good reason
without a license
without a permit
without the express written permission of the appropriate governing body
without the express written {[consent|permission} of Major League Baseball
without permission
unless a {StupidLawPerson} is present

STUPIDLAWTIME
on Sunday
on {DayOfWeek}
at night
in the afternoon
in the morning
in the evening
before dawn
after sunset
when the President is giving a speech on national television
during a thunderstorm
within {numberword} days of an election

STUPIDLAWPLACE
on a public street
on a bridge
{StupidLawPlaceVicinity} a city library
{StupidLawPlaceVicinity} a city park
{StupidLawPlaceVicinity} a public school
{StupidLawPlaceVicinity} a church
{StupidLawPlaceVicinity} a landfill
{StupidLawPlaceVicinity} a {StupidLawEvent}

STUPIDLAWPLACEVICINITY
within {#10-90}0 feet of
within a mile of
near
in the vicinity of
close to

STUPIDLAWPERSON
police officer
clergyman
elected official
school teacher
fireman
city alderman
lawyer
milkman
webmaster

STUPIDLAWGARMENTPLURAL
pants
socks
shoes

STUPIDLAWGARMENT
hat
coat
fur coat
pair of shoes
XXXL T-shirt

STUPIDLAWLIVINGTHING
housefly
mosquito
wasp
hornet
kudzu vine
poison ivy plant

STUPIDLAWWEAPON
comb
rain gauge
cardboard box
floppy diskette
ice cream scoop

STUPIDLAWITEM
bathtub
microwave oven
desktop computer
ceiling fan
electric can opener
vibrating bed
garbage disposal
touch-tone phone
digital camera
refrigerator

STUPIDLAWEVENT
baseball game
concert
basketball game
tractor pull
demolition derby
football game
school play
city council meeting

STUPIDLAWFOOD
a hamburger
a cheeseburger
an apple pie
a T-bone steak
a salad
a baked potato

STUPIDLAWUGLYCOLOR
"puke green"
chartreuse
hot pink
bright orange
{color}