11
200:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
3Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET
4
52
600:00:17,317 --> 00:00:19,551
7Wooldoor: who's it gonna
8be?! Who's it gonna be?!
9
103
1100:00:19,552 --> 00:00:21,053
12Wheeeeee!
13
144
1500:00:21,054 --> 00:00:23,122
16Wooldoor:
17the producers decided
18to surprise one of us
19
205
2100:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,990
22With a visit from
23a family member.
24
256
2600:00:24,991 --> 00:00:26,191
27I hope it's someone
28from my family
29
307
3100:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,493
32Like flagfred cheesewheel,
33
348
3500:00:27,494 --> 00:00:30,262
36Lintsue brickshade,
37or prom-queen dumpsterbaby.
38
399
4000:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,197
41[speaking japanese]
42
4310
4400:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,407
45Look, everyone!
46Someone's coming!
47
4811
4900:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,575
50Clara: the second I saw
51the horse and carriage,
52
5312
5400:00:43,576 --> 00:00:47,079
55I just knew it had
56to be someone from
57my kingdom.
58
5913
6000:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,683
61But when I saw it was
62the short carriage,
63my heart sank.
64
6514
6600:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,786
67Why?! Why did she
68have to come?!
69
7015
7100:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,588
72Oh, fuck me.
73
7416
7500:00:56,589 --> 00:00:58,223
76[garbled speech]
77
7817
7900:00:58,224 --> 00:01:03,362
80Um, everyone, this is
81my special cousin bleh.
82
8318
8400:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,530
85Foxxy: no one knew clara
86
8719
8800:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,132
89Had a mentally-challenged
90cousin, but it was cool.
91
9220
9300:01:07,133 --> 00:01:10,269
94The foxxy five used to perform
95for special needs kids,
96
9721
9800:01:10,270 --> 00:01:14,306
99And those people got
100hearts as big as they
101oversized foreheads.
102
10322
10400:01:14,307 --> 00:01:18,610
105<i>"I am sam is a well-written
106and exceptionally well-acted
107tearjerker,"</i>
108
10923
11000:01:18,611 --> 00:01:21,213
111<i>Raves adam nayman
112of eye weekly.</i>
113
11424
11500:01:23,149 --> 00:01:25,250
116What the shoebazzle
117was that?
118
11925
12000:01:25,251 --> 00:01:29,755
121<i>She, um, only
122quotes reviews from
123the movie I am sam.</i>
124
12526
12600:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,690
127Huh?
128Hmm.
129
13027
13100:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,525
132Well, this has
133been fun. Bye!
134
13528
13600:01:35,195 --> 00:01:38,397
137Well, i've never seen
138someone that slow
139go that fast.
140
14129
14200:01:38,398 --> 00:01:40,132
143Oh, yeah! Give it up!
144
14530
14600:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,066
147Yeah!
148
14931
15000:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,639
151[speaking japanese]
152
15332
15400:01:55,215 --> 00:01:59,952
155Oh, poor ling-ling.
156He's so disappointed
157his father didn't show.
158
15933
16000:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,387
161Oh!
162
16334
16400:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,590
165Oh, sweetie,
166i'm so sorry your
167father's not coming.
168
16935
17000:02:04,591 --> 00:02:08,127
171We still love ya!
172Don't we, toot?!
173
17436
17500:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,963
176Fine!
177
17837
17900:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,197
180[kiss]
181
18238
18300:02:12,198 --> 00:02:16,035
184Ling-ling,
185you taste so weird.
186
18739
18800:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,204
189[giggling]
190
19140
19200:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,140
193[giggling]
194
19541
19600:02:22,208 --> 00:02:25,177
197Let's go, bleh.
198The coast is clear.
199
20042
20100:02:25,178 --> 00:02:27,746
202But after this,
203no more potty breaks.
204
20543
20600:02:27,747 --> 00:02:30,082
207<i>"I am sam plays like
208a made-for-tv weep--"</i>
209
21044
21100:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,316
212Shh!
213
21445
21500:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,786
216I know it seemed
217like I was ashamed
218of my cousin,
219
22046
22100:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,921
222But nothing could be
223further from the truth.
224
22547
22600:02:35,922 --> 00:02:39,591
227Aah!
228Foxxy:
229hey, clara!
230
23148
23200:02:39,592 --> 00:02:41,060
233What's up, girlfriend?
234
23549
23600:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,062
237You know,
238none of us have
239really had a chance
240
24150
24200:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,763
243To hang out
244with bleh yet.
245
24651
24700:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,232
248Bleh? What's a bleh?
249
25052
25100:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,835
252Is that one of your
253jive words like
254"emancipation"?
255
25653
25700:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,603
258No, bleh your cousin.
259
26054
26100:02:51,604 --> 00:02:55,808
262Uh, clara?
263Why is the lamp drooling?
264
26555
26600:02:55,809 --> 00:02:59,044
267I guess to remind us
268to conserve electricity.
269
27056
27100:02:59,045 --> 00:03:03,248
272Clara, there is
273no reason to be
274embarrassed by your cousin.
275
27657
27700:03:03,249 --> 00:03:06,085
278Embarrassed?
279I'm not embarrassed.
280
28158
28200:03:06,086 --> 00:03:09,321
283Stop pretending
284bleh is a lamp.
285
28659
28700:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,824
288She is not a lamp,
289clara.
290
29160
29200:03:11,825 --> 00:03:15,160
293She is a real person
294with real feelings.
295
29661
29700:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,096
298Foxxy was probably right.
299
30062
30100:03:17,097 --> 00:03:18,864
302Damn that ms. Know-it-all!
303
30463
30500:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,400
306I should have killed her
307when I had the chance.
308
30964
31000:03:21,401 --> 00:03:22,835
311Give me your hand!
312
31365
31400:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,603
315First, give me the ring!
316
31766
31800:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,206
319[kisses]
320
32167
32200:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,208
323Xandir:
324it just didn't make sense.
325
32668
32700:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,709
328When we licked ling-ling
329last time,
330
33169
33200:03:30,710 --> 00:03:31,877
333We got all [bleep]ed up.
334
33570
33600:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,479
337But this time, nothing happened.
338
33971
34000:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,047
341Well, we got a little aroused,
342
34372
34400:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,982
345But not [bleep]ed up.
346
34773
34800:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,517
349Uhh! What's the deal-e-o?
350
35174
35200:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,085
353I don't feel
354anything. You?
355
35675
35700:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,086
358Nothing.
359
36076
36100:03:41,087 --> 00:03:42,755
362[kisses]
363
36477
36500:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,858
366Hmm. Maybe we have to
367eat ling-ling.
368
36978
37000:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,326
371Why is it when
372something doesn't work,
373
37479
37500:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,228
376Your first reaction
377is to eat it?
378
37980
38000:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,631
381What?! What
382are you doing?
383
38481
38500:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,067
386I couldn't find
387the remote.
388
38982
39000:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,735
391You know,
392there is one person
393
39483
39500:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,203
396Who can figure this out.
397
39884
39900:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,705
400The professor!
401The professor!
402
40385
40400:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,674
405[hums]
406
40786
40800:04:01,675 --> 00:04:02,675
409Ooh!
410
41187
41200:04:02,676 --> 00:04:03,876
413Aha!
414[whistle blows]
415
41688
41700:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,577
418Got it.
419Hit the lights.
420
42189
42200:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,717
423Here you see
424the african camel toad.
425
42690
42700:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,118
428It secretes
429a hallucinogen
430
43191
43200:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,153
433Whenever it's scared.
434
43592
43600:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,320
437Ahh!
438
43993
44000:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,423
441Yeah, that's--oh,
442I didn't know that.
443
44494
44500:04:17,424 --> 00:04:21,360
446When "cool" kids feel
447like catching a "buzz,"
448
44995
45000:04:21,361 --> 00:04:25,064
451They scare the amphibian
452and then lick its skin.
453
45496
45500:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,166
456All the cool kids,
457you say?
458
45997
46000:04:27,167 --> 00:04:31,036
461Now take ling-ling,
462the asian trading card
463battle monster.
464
46598
46600:04:31,037 --> 00:04:32,638
467It creates a similar
468hallucinogen
469
47099
47100:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,807
472Whenever it's
473disappointed.
474
475100
47600:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,443
477Ahh!
478Oh, I want to
479be cool!
480
481101
48200:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,946
483So, ling-ling
484was experiencing
485disappointment
486
487102
48800:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,614
489Due to its
490father's absence,
491
492103
49300:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,183
494Then, upon kissing
495ling-ling,
496
497104
49800:04:44,184 --> 00:04:47,186
499You became...[wacky
500noises] technically
501speaking.
502
503105
50400:04:47,187 --> 00:04:53,692
505So, only when ling-ling
506is disappointed, eh? Hmm.
507
508106
50900:04:55,662 --> 00:04:59,932
510[screaming]
511[alarm]
512[siren]
513
514107
51500:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,067
516[bagpipes playing]
517
518108
51900:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,635
520[harps playing]
521
522109
52300:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,938
524[crickets chirping]
525
526110
52700:05:05,939 --> 00:05:09,942
528Oh! Don't look,
529but corky at 3:00.
530
531111
53200:05:09,943 --> 00:05:13,045
533Foxxy: it looked like I got
534through to the princess.
535
536112
53700:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,881
538Clara would see that
539there ain't no reason
540to be ashamed of bleh.
541
542113
54300:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,316
544We all adults.
545
546114
54700:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,985
548Dude, let's egg
549the trainable.
550
551115
55200:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,854
553Mind if we
554join you guys?
555
556116
55700:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,189
558No, no, no.
559Of course not.
560
561117
56200:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,891
563Don't be stupid.
564
565118
56600:05:25,892 --> 00:05:28,027
567[both snicker]
568
569119
57000:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,543
571[eggshells crack]
572
573120
57400:05:48,915 --> 00:05:52,217
575Man, clara's cousin
576is so hot!
577
578121
57900:05:52,218 --> 00:05:55,454
580<i>Damn! She's like
581retarded hot!</i>
582
583122
58400:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,595
585[whimpers] sam! Aah!
586
587123
58800:06:05,432 --> 00:06:06,365
589Clara: i'm really glad
590I brought bleh
591
592124
59300:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,367
594Down to hang out
595with everyone.
596
597125
59800:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,803
599They treated her
600like she was one
601of the gang.
602
603126
60400:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,771
605I hadn't seen bleh
606have this much fun
607
608127
60900:06:12,772 --> 00:06:15,207
610<i>Since they cancelled
611the pretty, shiny
612object show.</i>
613
614128
61500:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,210
616You sure you don't
617want to stay and
618play a few rounds?
619
620129
62100:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,280
622Nah, it's getting late,
623and we don't want to
624intrude on guy time.
625
626130
62700:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,648
628'night!
629
630131
63100:06:22,649 --> 00:06:25,751
632<i>"I am sam works magic
633'cause of penn,"</i>
634
635132
63600:06:25,752 --> 00:06:28,153
637<i>Raves lou lumenick
638of the new york post.</i>
639
640133
64100:06:28,154 --> 00:06:30,022
642I go first.
643Whee!
644
645134
64600:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,291
647Holy shit!
648
649135
65000:06:32,292 --> 00:06:34,293
651She is so hot!
652
653136
65400:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,161
655Oh, spanky.
656
657137
65800:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,564
659What? Oh. Ok.
660
661138
66200:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,498
663[kiss]
664
665139
66600:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,568
667Oh, that bleh, man.
668
669140
67000:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,037
671I would totally dip
672my wick in that.
673
674141
67500:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,906
676Listen, dude. No matter
677how hot she is,
678
679142
68000:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,009
681You would not
682punch holes in a sped.
683
684143
68500:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,210
686Oh, hell,
687yeah, I would.
688
689144
69000:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,544
691I mean, she's
692the perfect girl.
693
694145
69500:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,480
696All the sweater meat
697of a regular chick
698
699146
70000:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,181
701And half
702the pillow talk.
703
704147
70500:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,752
706[kiss]
707
708148
70900:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,987
710Man, you're all talk.
711
712149
71300:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,757
714Look, I got 20 large
715that says you won't
716sleep with her.
717
718150
71900:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,659
720Make it 50
721and you're on.
722
723151
72400:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,262
725Oh, ha ha!
726Wheeeeeee!
727
728152
72900:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,198
730Hey, if you're gonna
731be gay about this,
732you can't play.
733
734153
73500:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,333
736Sorry.
737
738154
73900:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,635
740[kiss]
741
742155
74300:07:16,636 --> 00:07:20,205
744Fine. 50 bucks says you
745won't have sex with bleh.
746
747156
74800:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,207
749Easy money.
750
751157
75200:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,076
753Captain hero is
754gonna show you guys
755
756158
75700:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,679
758What being a real man
759is all about.
760
761159
76200:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,681
763All: triple kiss!
764
765160
76600:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,516
767[kisses]
768
769161
77000:07:37,657 --> 00:07:41,293
771[snarls]
772
773162
77400:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,228
775[speaking japanese]
776
777163
77800:07:48,601 --> 00:07:52,571
779¶ ling-ling
780into battle go ¶
781
782164
78300:07:52,572 --> 00:07:55,140
784¶ fulfill destiny
785of the soul ¶
786
787165
78800:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,542
789¶ all the children sing ¶
790
791166
79200:07:56,543 --> 00:08:00,045
793Kids: ¶ kill,
794kill, kill, kill,
795die, die, die ¶
796
797167
79800:08:00,046 --> 00:08:01,580
799¶ kill, kill,
800kill, kill... ¶
801
802168
80300:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,583
804Wait, ling-ling.
805It's just us.
806
807169
80800:08:04,584 --> 00:08:08,087
809We're not really
810a 3-headed, acid-spitting
811needle monster.
812
813170
81400:08:08,088 --> 00:08:11,190
815[speaking japanese]
816
817171
81800:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,825
819Oh.
820
821172
82200:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,960
823Oh, no, ling-ling.
824
825173
82600:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,228
827Instead of
828cheering you up,
829
830174
83100:08:16,229 --> 00:08:21,367
832We accidentally
833disappointed you.
834
835175
83600:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,069
837Oh, poor baby.
838
839176
84000:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,471
841Triple kiss!
842
843177
84400:08:25,472 --> 00:08:27,373
845Oh! Hee hee!
846[kisses]
847
848178
84900:08:27,374 --> 00:08:31,310
850[sighing and giggling]
851
852179
85300:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,585
854[knocks]
855
856180
85700:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,420
858Clara:
859I found it a bit odd
860
861181
86200:08:41,421 --> 00:08:44,023
863That captain hero
864wanted to take bleh
865out on a date,
866
867182
86800:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,691
869And it was
870my responsibility
871
872183
87300:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,127
874To make sure his
875intentions were pure.
876
877184
87800:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,329
879So, captain hero, is it?
880
881185
88200:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,464
883Oh. Heh heh! Yeah?
884
885186
88600:08:52,465 --> 00:08:53,966
887Coming to take
888my little bleh out
889
890187
89100:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,634
892For a night
893on the town, eh?
894
895188
89600:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,770
897You know, I don't
898know what'd I do
899
900189
90100:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,805
902If anything happened
903to my little bleh.
904
905190
90600:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,341
907Yes, ma'am.
908I mean, no, ma'am.
909
910191
91100:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,943
912Son, do you know
913what it's like
914
915192
91600:09:04,944 --> 00:09:08,147
917To kill a man with
918your bare hands?
919
920193
92100:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,748
922I do.
923
924194
92500:09:09,749 --> 00:09:10,883
926I...
927
928195
92900:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,151
930Oh!
931
932196
93300:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,986
934Here's bleh now!
935
936197
93700:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,155
938¶ there she is... ¶
939
940198
94100:09:16,156 --> 00:09:19,825
942Wow! You look...
943Stunning.
944
945199
94600:09:19,826 --> 00:09:25,497
947<i>"I am sam's dakota
948fanning is worth the
949price of admission."</i>
950
951200
95200:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,700
953[blow dart]
954
955201
95600:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,501
957Ow! What the hell?!
958
959202
96000:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,904
961A little
962added protection.
963
964203
96500:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,807
966You'll get the antidote
967when I get my bleh back.
968
969204
97000:09:34,808 --> 00:09:39,311
971[all giggling]
972
973205
97400:09:39,312 --> 00:09:42,748
975Hey, ling-ling,
976you excited for
977christmas?
978
979206
98000:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,317
981Too bad there's
982no such thing
983as santa claus!
984
985207
98600:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,985
987I bet you're
988disappointed.
989
990208
99100:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,153
992Oh.
993
994209
99500:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,889
996[laughs]
997
998210
99900:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,659
1000Hey, look what
1001I found in your ear!
1002
1003211
100400:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,427
1005Is it a quarter?
1006
1007212
100800:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,330
1009Oh, no!
1010It's a tumor!
1011
1012213
101300:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,765
1014Oh.
1015
1016214
101700:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,601
1018[slurps]
1019
1020215
102100:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,370
1022[giggles]
1023
1024216
102500:10:04,371 --> 00:10:09,008
1026Hey, ling-ling,
1027you excited for
1028christmas?
1029
1030217
103100:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,443
1032Oh, no!
1033It's a tumor!
1034
1035218
103600:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,845
1037Oh.
1038
1039219
104000:10:12,846 --> 00:10:16,181
1041[slurps]
1042
1043220
104400:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,418
1045¶ girly, girly,
1046girly, girly... ¶
1047
1048221
104900:10:19,419 --> 00:10:23,689
1050[bleh shouts happily
1051and incoherently]
1052
1053222
105400:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,357
1055Captain hero:
1056yes, I was confident
1057
1058223
105900:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,327
1060That by the end of the
1061night, i'd have another
1062notch on my utility belt
1063
1064224
106500:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,095
1066And 50 bucks in my pocket.
1067
1068225
106900:10:30,096 --> 00:10:33,565
1070Then I realized
1071something. Bleh...
1072
1073226
107400:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,034
1075She was really special,
1076
1077227
107800:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,635
1079But not like in
1080a retarded way,
1081
1082228
108300:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,004
1084In a traditionally
1085special way.
1086
1087229
108800:10:39,005 --> 00:10:44,943
1089¶ did you ever know
1090that you're my hero? ¶
1091
1092230
109300:10:44,944 --> 00:10:46,245
1094Oh!
1095
1096231
109700:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,546
1098Ok!
1099
1100232
110100:10:47,547 --> 00:10:53,352
1102¶ you're everything
1103I wish I could be ¶
1104
1105233
110600:10:53,353 --> 00:10:56,088
1107¶ I could fly higher
1108than an eagle ¶
1109
1110234
111100:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,556
1112[both giggle]
1113
1114235
111500:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,558
1116Sam.
1117
1118236
111900:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,761
1120I don't like
1121these things.
1122They scare me!
1123
1124237
112500:11:02,762 --> 00:11:05,631
1126¶ beneath my wings ¶
1127
1128238
112900:11:05,632 --> 00:11:09,468
1130Eeeeeeh! Aah! Sam!
1131¶ oh, oh, fly ¶
1132
1133239
113400:11:09,469 --> 00:11:14,340
1135¶ so high
1136against the sky ¶
1137
1138240
113900:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,942
1140¶ so high I almost... ¶
1141
1142241
114300:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,646
1144Bleh, you are the wind
1145beneath my wings.
1146
1147242
114800:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,681
1149"contrived, manipulative,
1150
1151243
115200:11:22,682 --> 00:11:28,721
1153<i>And shamelessly
1154sentimental," raves peter
1155travers from rolling stone.</i>
1156
1157244
115800:11:34,627 --> 00:11:37,596
1159Hey, ling-ling,
1160I got a penny.
1161No, I don't.
1162
1163245
116400:11:37,597 --> 00:11:39,198
1165[licks dry fur]
1166
1167246
116800:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,866
1169[rattles]
1170
1171247
117200:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,867
1173[bam bam]
1174
1175248
117600:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,702
1177[licks dry fur]
1178
1179249
118000:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,138
1181Whoa, guys. Guys!
1182
1183250
118400:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,840
1185Ling-ling is
1186totally kicked!
1187
1188251
118900:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,841
1190What?!
1191
1192252
119300:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,209
1194[pants]
1195
1196253
119700:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,978
1198[licks dry fur]
1199
1200254
120100:11:52,979 --> 00:11:54,747
1202Don't hold out
1203on me, man.
1204
1205255
120600:11:54,748 --> 00:11:57,449
1207I need my fix.
1208Come on! Please,
1209man, come on!
1210
1211256
121200:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,618
1213What do you want?
1214I'll do anything!
1215
1216257
121700:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,253
1218I'll suck your dick!
1219
1220258
122100:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,556
1222Ooh! Ooh, sam!
1223
1224259
122500:12:04,557 --> 00:12:05,991
1226Hee hee!
1227Shh!
1228
1229260
123000:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,861
1231Are you crazy?
1232They'll hear us!
1233
1234261
123500:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,764
1236Captain hero:
1237bleh and I got home way
1238past midnight.
1239
1240262
124100:12:11,765 --> 00:12:15,701
1242I was like, we are gonna
1243get in so much trouble!
1244
1245263
124600:12:15,702 --> 00:12:19,672
1247So, this was
1248really fantastic.
1249
1250264
125100:12:19,673 --> 00:12:23,842
1252Um, I,
1253uh...Good night.
1254
1255265
125600:12:23,843 --> 00:12:24,777
1257[kiss]
1258
1259266
126000:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,513
1261¶ girly, girly,
1262girly, girly... ¶
1263
1264267
126500:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,415
1266Ahh!
1267
1268268
126900:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,951
1270Hey, super stud.
1271Did you sleep
1272with her?
1273
1274269
127500:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,453
1276Dude, back off!
1277
1278270
127900:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,922
1280I did not, as you
1281so crudely put it...
1282
1283271
128400:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,857
1285"nail her
1286in the stink tube."
1287
1288272
128900:12:38,858 --> 00:12:40,592
1290It's not like that.
1291
1292273
129300:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,961
1294So you kids are
1295taking it slow?
1296
1297274
129800:12:42,962 --> 00:12:43,996
1299See what I did
1300there? I--
1301
1302275
130300:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,998
1304You just don't get it,
1305spanky.
1306
1307276
130800:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,299
1309Nobody gets it!
1310
1311277
131200:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,467
1313[wails]
1314
1315278
131600:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,069
1317[door slams]
1318
1319279
132000:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,470
1321Captain hero:
1322I was lying in bed,
1323
1324280
132500:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,273
1326Replaying the date over
1327and over in my head,
1328
1329281
133000:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,842
1331When there was a knock
1332at the door.
1333[knocks]
1334
1335282
133600:12:56,843 --> 00:12:57,776
1337Who's there?
1338
1339283
134000:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,080
1341Bleh! What are you--
1342
1343284
134400:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,983
1345Listen, bleh,
1346i'm not that kind of guy.
1347
1348285
134900:13:04,984 --> 00:13:05,984
1350[pulls pants down]
1351
1352286
135300:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,153
1354Oh, my!
1355
1356287
135700:13:08,154 --> 00:13:12,057
1358Oh, no, no, no...
1359
1360288
136100:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,293
1362Leave the helmet on.
1363
1364289
136500:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,697
1366Ahh.
1367
1368290
136900:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,433
1370Clara: that morning,
1371I woke up feeling great.
1372
1373291
137400:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,269
1375Everyone had accepted
1376me and my cousin,
1377
1378292
137900:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,971
1380And that was swell.
1381
1382293
138300:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,875
1384Oh, what a glorious day,
1385isn't it, bleh?
1386
1387294
138800:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,877
1389Bleh?
1390
1391295
139200:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,612
1393Bleh?!
1394
1395296
139600:13:33,613 --> 00:13:37,683
1397Captain hero!
1398Clara, it's not
1399what you think!
1400
1401297
140200:13:37,684 --> 00:13:38,684
1403[gibberish]
1404
1405298
140600:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,552
1407Get up! Get up
1408right now!
1409
1410299
141100:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,856
1412<i>"I am sam reduces penn to
1413a mugging embarrassment,"</i>
1414
1415300
141600:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,091
1417<i>Raves mike clark
1418of usa today.</i>
1419
1420301
142100:13:46,092 --> 00:13:47,860
1422I don't care.
1423Let's go!
1424
1425302
142600:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,561
1427Yeeeh...
1428
1429303
143000:13:49,562 --> 00:13:52,297
1431Go back to your
1432cage right now!
1433
1434304
143500:13:52,298 --> 00:13:55,434
1436Spanky: well,
1437look who's doing
1438the limp of shame!
1439
1440305
144100:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,169
1442You bastard!
1443
1444306
144500:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,338
1446Captain hero:
1447clara totally overreacted.
1448
1449307
145000:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,639
1451I mean, bleh was an adult,
1452
1453308
145400:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,374
1455And completely capable
1456of making her own decisions.
1457
1458309
145900:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,809
1460Or not.
1461
1462310
146300:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,945
1464Still, I needed to
1465sit clara down and
1466explain what happened.
1467
1468311
146900:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,948
1470Clara, I never expected
1471this to happen.
1472
1473312
147400:14:09,949 --> 00:14:14,720
1475It's just that I have
1476real feelings for her.
1477
1478313
147900:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,389
1480Well...
1481
1482314
148300:14:17,390 --> 00:14:20,025
1484¶ there she is ¶
1485
1486315
148700:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,295
1488¶ she's a girl ¶
1489
1490316
149100:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,497
1492If that is the truth--
1493
1494317
149500:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,932
1496It is.
1497
1498318
149900:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,967
1500Then i'm truly happy
1501for the two of you.
1502
1503319
150400:14:28,968 --> 00:14:31,170
1505You're a good man,
1506captain hero.
1507
1508320
150900:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,005
1510I knew I could
1511trust you.
1512
1513321
151400:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,107
1515Here's the antidote.
1516
1517322
151800:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,342
1519[gulp]
1520
1521323
152200:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,977
1523Well, nice work,
1524captain hero.
1525
1526324
152700:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,980
1528Here's the $50
1529I bet you to have
1530sex with bleh.
1531
1532325
153300:14:41,981 --> 00:14:42,981
1534[gasps]
1535
1536326
153700:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,049
1538Yeeeeeh!
1539
1540327
154100:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,184
1542Oh, um, I mean, uh...
1543
1544328
154500:14:45,185 --> 00:14:49,655
1546Here is the $50
1547captain hero won off me
1548
1549329
155000:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,291
1551Because I bet him
1552he would not have sex
1553
1554330
155500:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,926
1556With your
1557special cousin bleh.
1558
1559331
156000:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,128
1561But he did, in fact,
1562have sex with her.
1563
1564332
156500:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,564
1566Oh, yes, he did.
1567For $50.
1568
1569333
157000:14:58,565 --> 00:15:01,133
1571Oh, man. Saved it.
1572
1573334
157400:15:01,134 --> 00:15:07,539
1575Captain hero, I forbid you
1576to see my cousin ever again!
1577
1578335
157900:15:07,540 --> 00:15:08,774
1580Uhh!
1581
1582336
158300:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,676
1584I would have been
1585more pissed at spanky,
1586
1587337
158800:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,679
1589But you know,
1590I just won $50!
1591
1592338
159300:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,382
1594[cash register bell]
1595ah! Who's your daddy?
1596
1597339
159800:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,485
1599Ooh, I like the big one
1600and that one over there
1601
1602340
160300:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,986
1604And...Ooh!
1605
1606341
160700:15:20,987 --> 00:15:25,057
1608Yeah. Hell, yeah!
1609[girls talking and laughing]
1610
1611342
161200:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,925
1613Ehhhh.
1614
1615343
161600:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,394
1617Ehhhh.
1618
1619344
162000:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,362
1621Ehhhh.
1622
1623345
162400:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,164
1625Oh, look at
1626poor ling-ling.
1627
1628346
162900:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,932
1630We've licked
1631the life out of it.
1632
1633347
163400:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,234
1635What should we do?
1636
1637348
163800:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,235
1639Poke it harder.
1640
1641349
164200:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,236
1643Uhh!
1644
1645350
164600:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,237
1647[gasps]
1648
1649351
165000:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,571
1651Look at me!
1652
1653352
165400:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,608
1655I've become the very
1656thing I hate most.
1657
1658353
165900:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,576
1660A guy who pokes things
1661with sticks?
1662
1663354
166400:15:44,577 --> 00:15:49,181
1665Oh, we've abused ling-ling
1666to the point where the
1667little guy is just numb.
1668
1669355
167000:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,649
1671And for what?
1672
1673356
167400:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,551
1675To catch a buzz?!
1676
1677357
167800:15:52,552 --> 00:15:55,654
1679I guess being cool
1680just isn't worth it.
1681
1682358
168300:15:55,655 --> 00:15:59,024
1684["what you already know"
1685jingle plays]
1686
1687359
168800:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,293
1689Come on. We've got to
1690make this right!
1691
1692360
169300:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,396
1694Sorry, wooldoor.
1695You stay here
1696
1697361
169800:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,899
1699Until all that ling-ling
1700is out of your system.
1701
1702362
170300:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,135
1704It's gonna be
1705the hardest thing
1706you've ever done.
1707
1708363
170900:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,136
1710Toodles!
1711
1712364
171300:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,405
1714[slam]
1715
1716365
171700:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,474
1718Aah! I can't take it!
1719
1720366
172100:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,477
1722[wacky noises]
1723
1724367
172500:16:21,047 --> 00:16:24,416
1726Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
1727Wooldoor: I can't take it!
1728
1729368
173000:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,285
1731Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
1732
1733369
173400:16:26,286 --> 00:16:29,154
1735Captain hero:
1736oh, sure, the money
1737helped dull the pain,
1738
1739370
174000:16:29,155 --> 00:16:33,692
1741But later, you know, when
1742the stores are all closed,
1743
1744371
174500:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,294
1746Who do I have
1747to share it with?
1748
1749372
175000:16:35,295 --> 00:16:41,433
1751Bleh? No. Not anymore.
1752Not anymore.
1753
1754373
175500:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,635
1756It just wasn't
1757worth it, spanky!
1758
1759374
176000:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,705
1761Bleh, she--
1762she was special.
1763
1764375
176500:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,807
1766What are you--
1767what are you saying?
1768
1769376
177000:16:48,808 --> 00:16:52,678
1771Oh, spanky,
1772I love her.
1773
1774377
177500:16:53,880 --> 00:16:59,018
1776Then go to her.
1777
1778378
177900:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,719
1780Xandir:
1781we knew what we had done
1782to ling-ling was wrong.
1783
1784379
178500:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,488
1786Hopefully, this was gonna
1787
1788380
178900:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,622
1790Make it up to that lovable,
1791
1792381
179300:17:03,623 --> 00:17:06,258
1794Fortune cookie cat thing.
1795
1796382
179700:17:06,259 --> 00:17:11,096
1798Ling-ling, there's
1799a special warrior
1800here to see you.
1801
1802383
180300:17:11,097 --> 00:17:15,567
1804[japanese song playing]
1805
1806384
180700:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,503
1808[speaking japanese]
1809
1810385
181100:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,674
1812[speaking japanese]
1813
1814386
181500:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,654
1816Toot:
1817sure, we have our issues,
1818
1819387
182000:17:35,655 --> 00:17:39,224
1821But really, this is
1822a house drawn together
1823
1824388
182500:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,659
1826With love.
1827
1828389
182900:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,595
1830[speaking japanese]
1831
1832390
183300:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,753
1834Yah!
1835Uhh!
1836
1837391
183800:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,189
1839[slurping]
1840
1841392
184200:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,991
1843All right, clara,
1844where is she?!
1845
1846393
184700:18:12,992 --> 00:18:15,828
1848Hah! You're too late,
1849captain jerko!
1850
1851394
185200:18:15,829 --> 00:18:18,630
1853She left for the front door
1854well over 2 minutes ago!
1855
1856395
185700:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,066
1858You'll never catch her!
1859Never!
1860
1861396
186200:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,202
1863Oh. Oh, well.
1864
1865397
186600:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,903
1867I guess it wasn't
1868meant to be.
1869
1870398
187100:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,939
1872Easy come, easy go.
1873
1874399
187500:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,807
1876Well, i'll be
1877seeing you, clara.
1878
1879400
188000:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,143
1881Wait! Damn you!
1882I've got to try!
1883
1884401
188500:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,578
1886Yahh!
1887
1888402
188900:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,448
1890Captain hero: bleh!
1891Wait! I'm coming!
1892
1893403
189400:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,950
1895Dude, where are you--uhh!
1896
1897404
189800:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,518
1899Watch it, pig!
1900
1901405
190200:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,086
1903Go get her, man.
1904
1905406
190600:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,087
1907Uhh!
1908
1909407
191000:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,355
1911Watch it,
1912hot black girl!
1913
1914408
191500:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,157
1916Go get her, man.
1917
1918409
191900:18:45,158 --> 00:18:49,895
1920[muzak playing]
1921
1922410
192300:18:49,896 --> 00:18:56,168
1924[blissful sighs and moans]
1925
1926411
192700:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,770
1928Oh, come on!
1929
1930412
193100:19:00,206 --> 00:19:05,444
1932Bleh! Bleh!
1933Bleh! Bleh!
1934
1935413
193600:19:05,445 --> 00:19:06,812
1937Oh.
1938
1939414
194000:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,747
1941Bleh! Bleh, wait!
1942
1943415
194400:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,350
1945Listen, I don't know
1946what clara told you,
1947
1948416
194900:19:11,351 --> 00:19:14,453
1950But I love you.
1951
1952417
195300:19:14,454 --> 00:19:16,555
1954Yehhhhhhhh.
1955
1956418
195700:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,192
1958[splat]
1959
1960419
196100:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,127
1962"one of the year's
196310 best!"
1964
1965420
196600:19:22,128 --> 00:19:25,631
1967"delivers in ways
1968you never expected!"
1969
1970421
197100:19:25,632 --> 00:19:29,134
1972Yes, well, maybe
1973it wouldn't work out.
1974
1975422
197600:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,637
1977I mean, we come
1978from different worlds.
1979
1980423
198100:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,772
1982I come from
1983planet zebulon
1984
1985424
198600:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,909
1987And you come from
1988a mom who drank when
1989she was pregnant.
1990
1991425
199200:19:36,910 --> 00:19:40,446
1993Well, farewell,
1994my sweet.
1995
1996426
199700:19:40,447 --> 00:19:41,947
1998Mwah!
1999
2000427
200100:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,983
2002Mnnnh deh
2003nnnh.
2004
2005428
200600:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,186
2007Yeah! She kissed him!
2008
2009429
201000:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,488
2011She kissed him!
2012
2013430
201400:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,657
2015Ha ha! Ha ha!
2016
2017431
201800:19:51,658 --> 00:19:55,994
2019Bleh, you nailed
2020the dry-mouth
2021from reality tv show!
2022
2023432
202400:19:55,995 --> 00:19:59,264
2025Well, I guess I owe you
2026that 50 bucks now.
2027
2028433
202900:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,801
2030Oh! 50 bucks! Yeah!
2031
2032434
203300:20:02,802 --> 00:20:06,438
2034[cash register bell]
2035ooh, yeah,
2036who's your daddy?
2037
2038435
203900:20:06,439 --> 00:20:09,908
2040I like the big one
2041and I like the one
2042over there. Ooh!
2043
2044436
204500:20:09,909 --> 00:20:13,245
2046Yeah. Hell, yeah!
2047[girls talking and laughing]
2048
2049437
205000:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,880
2051Bleh: sam, bye-bye!
2052
2053438
205400:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,048
2055Bye-bye, sam!
2056
2057439
205800:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,150
2059[choked up] bye.
2060
2061440
206200:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,854
2063Good-bye.
2064
2065441
206600:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,823
2067You ok, man?
2068
2069442
207000:20:24,824 --> 00:20:28,560
2071I...Don't know
2072if i'll ever be ok.
2073
2074443
207500:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,062
2076Yeah, i'm sorry.
2077
2078444
207900:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,031
2080Hey, you want to go
2081grab a beer,
2082
2083445
208400:20:32,032 --> 00:20:34,533
2085Spin it, and kiss
2086whoever it points to?
2087
2088446
208900:20:34,534 --> 00:20:39,271
2090No. Not now, spanky.
2091Not now.
2092
2093447
209400:20:43,543 --> 00:20:44,543
2095How about now?
2096
2097448
209800:20:44,544 --> 00:20:45,811
2099Yeah. Ok.
2100
2101449
210200:20:45,812 --> 00:20:51,550
2103¶ girly, girly,
2104girly, girly girl ¶
2105
2106450
210700:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,052
2108¶ girl ¶
2109
2110451
211100:20:53,053 --> 00:20:55,954
2112¶ girly, girly girl-- ¶
2113
2114